I attended my next-door-neighbor's auction today. He passed away recently. His whole life was out there on the auction block - the house, the cars, the furniture, everything.

As they went through all of his belongings and described them to the crowd in auctioneer/salesman-like fashion I couldn't help but wonder how an auction of my own life's accumulations would go.

Here we have some kind of uh...looks like a vampire with rats. Vampire with rats, who'll give me 20 dollars? Do I hear 20? 20-20-20-20-20-20-20 15-15-15-15-15-15-15-15-15 do I hear 10-10-10-10-10-10-10-10...

Porno mags, action figures, weird books, obscure CDs/tapes/albums...man. My shit is worthless. They wouldn't get more than $500 for my entire estate. If today's crowd is any indication, auction crowds would not be likely to give a shit about a double-gatefold The Soil Bleeds Black album on vinyl.

Speaking of things nobody gives a shit about, here's a few new reviews for you.

Mercyful Fate: "Melissa"
Mercyful Fate: "The Beginning"
Lake Of Tears: "A Crimson Cosmos"
Celtic Frost: "Into The Pandemonium"
Root: "The Black Seal"
Naglfar: "Vittra"
Suicidal Tendencies: "Suicidal Tendencies"
Primus: "Frizzle Fry"
Old Man's Child: "Born Of The Flickering"
On Thorns I Lay: "Future Narcotic"

Keep up!

New reviews today for:

Mortiis: "The Stargate"
Anathema: "All Faith Is Lost" demo
Mayhem: "De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas"
Moonspell: "Under The Moonspell"
Immortal "Battles In The North"
Celtic Frost "Morbid Tales" + "Emperor's Return"
Autumnblaze: "Dammer Elben Tragodie"
Darkthrone: "A Blaze In The Northern Sky"
Kreator: "Endorama"
Morgul: "The Horror Grandeur"

I'm really digging Demonspeed and Devil's Whorehouse the last few days. A lot of good stuff has come in recently, actually. Can't beat that.

I bought a Captain Murphy t-shirt this week! How do you like them apples, ho bag?

Five new reviews added today - Arcturus (2), Mortiis (2) and Dodheimsgard.

I went out and shot pool tonight. I haven't done that in a long time. No, wait - I did go out with the guys at work on lunch one day. But that was the only time in ten years that I had done it. I did horribly.

Funny, my pool style is reflective of the way I live my life. I just take a stab in the general direction of my goal without planning or having any idea what I'm doing. I just fucking make a decision and deal with the consequences. And they're usually bad. But not as bad as having to make a real effort would be. I'll do anything to be finished.

And work sucked and my freebie day off on Monday is now history thanks to the lovely folks at GE and their pain-in-the-ass data.

But anyway, cheer up. I did two more reviews:

Testament - First Strike Still Deadly
Tribute To Lake Of Tears - The Crimson Book

I saw some good buys on new computers at Circuit City the other day. Open box stuff three times as powerful as mine yet half of what I originally paid. That makes me want one. There are some applications it would be useful for, certainly. But by the same token, I really feel I should be spending less time at the computer. Buying a shiny new fast one would only encourage me. Plus, the money would be better used to put toward a friggin house. I'm tired of renting.

What else is going on, let's see...I've lost 47 lbs now since October. This week I started wearing a couple of shirts that I haven't been able to wear in two or three years. Amazing. Only 47 more to go. Yes, I was (and am) a lardass.

Oh, and one more thing. Look at THIS SHIT. I wish I could do that.

Ten more reviews added today:

Sabbat - History of a Time to Come
Type O Negative - Slow Deep and Hard
Primus - Sailing the Seas of Cheese
Tanzwut - Labyrinth Der Sinne
Overkill - Under the Influence
Terrorizer - World Downfall
Helstar - Nosferatu
Bolt Thrower - Warmaster
Abscess - Tormented
Abscess - Seminal Vampires and Maggot Men

I'm definitely taking a quick and dirty approach to reviewing lately. I figure I'll just write a review proportional to what the album inspires me to write. I'm not going to go overboard in describing the releases, as that was never my intention. I don't really care if you buy the stuff or not. I don't really care if my review tells you a single useful goddamn thing. Many of them won't. I just want to say what I think about it.

Added five more reviews today:

Therion - Secret of the Runes
Katatonia - Saw You Drown
Pain - Rebirth
Sodom - M-16
Entombed - Left Hand Path

OK hos and hizzos. More new reviews (by request) for you and it's not even Friday yet.

Dream Into Dust - The Lathe Of Heaven
Alice In Chain - Dirt
Cannibal Corpse - The Bleeding
Mastodon - Remission

More coming soon!

Right now I'm listening to Goethes Erben. We haven't had a new Devil Doll album in almost ten years. Goethes Erben's Erstes Kapitel might be a good enough substitute for now. And given how much I love Devil Doll, that's high praise.

New reviews this week for:

Acid Bath: Paegan Terrorism Tactics
Acid Bath: When The Kite String Pops
Immortal: Sons Of Northern Darkness
Slayer: Seasons In The Abyss

Did I mention the heat in my house is out again? *sigh* Well, at least it's only in the 30s.

More new reviews today - I've posted them for Metallica (Ride The Lightning), Tool (Lateralus) and Megadeth (Rust In Peace).

I'd heard of the band And Also The Trees several times. Figured they were another Autumnblaze style wimpy Depeche Mode Metal band. Not so! They're kind of a Nick Cave/Tindersticks style group. Pretty cool stuff. Apparently they've been around since the early 80s. I only have their new album so far, but I'm going to get their back catalog.

Started listening to Defixiones... (one of the new Diamanda Galas discs). Man, she's back in full force! The last couple albums have been very "voice and piano" and almost tame for her. But she's out to take no motherfucking prisoners again.

AND I managed to find Regina Spektor's hopelessly-out-of-print debut, so I'm stoked.

Thanks goes out to Chucky V for yet another package of podly goodness. Plenty of entertainment material, including The Producers on DVD, which I've always wanted to see. You rule!

Another thing that rules - I now have less than a year left to pay on my car! I'm sure it'll fall to pieces two days after my final payment, but I'm trying not to think about that.

I'm gonna go eat the broodwich. Sniff you jerks later.

Early mini-update today. I've added reviews of Metallica's Master Of Puppets and Sentenced's Crimson. I'm trying to finally get through the reviews that have been requested so far.

I went as far as to make a CDR of albums I need to review and take it in the car with me. That's not a bad idea; however, spilling half a bottle of Coke on it is a very bad idea indeed.

Well, well, well. What have we here? Is 2004 looking promising on the music front? I'll be damned. The new ones from My Dying Bride, Exodus and Orphaned Land are better than I expected. Just got the new ROOT album - they're always dependable for some good stuff. Two new Diamanda Galas double-albums too! Damn, not too shabby so far. And, though it's a couple years old, I just discovered the album from The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players. What wackiness. They were here in Charlottesville in October but I just now found that out. They'd be perfect for a tour with The Danielson Famile.

Speaking of that new My Dying Bride, I've really just latched onto the song My Wine In Silence. I haven't explored the rest of the album much. Judging from a couple of reviews, that seems to be everyone's favorite from it. It's so laid back and melancholy, which is cool since there are so many bands that try to be melancholy but just end up being laid back. This one shows how it's supposed to be done. Time will tell how much the rest of the album grows on me.

I got one of those realistic half-corpse things at Halloween. I just put him in the passenger seat of my car, strapped in by the seat belt. Freaked out a few people so far. It rules.

SUPERBOWL SUNDAY IS THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh wait, I don't care. Sunday might be my only day off in over a week though, so that's cool. Work has been really busy this week and next week will be more of the same.

Meli and I celebrated 11 years together this week. When I say "celebrated," I mean I worked late and we went to buy cat food after I got home. We should make commemorative "JAS & MELI - 11 YEARS OF HATRED" t-shirts. KVLT.

This week, I learned that ducks and geese don't like lettuce. They're suspicious of onions, but they'll eat one if they feel so inclined. Bread, though - it's like crack to Marion Barry. I used to feed them out of my mouth, actually. They'll come right up and take food right out of there. They have no shame. Nor do I.

Also on the food-related front: I'm now down 37 lbs. Fear me. I'm losing weight faster than little boys lose their pants at Michael Jackson's house.

I dreamt that my long hair grew back the other night. I just kinda forgot to cut it for a couple weeks and there it was, all 100% of it back. I've been toying with the idea of growing it long again, or at least longer. I must lose some more weight first though. Being both fat and long-haired at the same time screams out LOSER at crushing decibels (unless you're going for that "caveman metal" look). Maybe I'll grow it out and buy a couple metal t-shirts and pretend I'm cool. Think I'll fool anyone?

I had planned to do a review or two this week, but spent way too much time at work. Maybe next week.